Terminology

Menopause

Menopause is understood to have occurred when menstruation has been stopped for a year. This is said to happen around the age of 50 but in reality can be earlier or later. If the ovaries are removed, at however young an age and for whatever reason, menopause will also occur. POI, or Premature Ovarian Insufficiency, and chemotherapy can also bring menopause on.

The fluctuation and eventual lowering of oestrogen in the body can bring on a number of side effects. Hot flushes, sweating, insomnia, depression, anxiety, loss of memory, weight gain, thinner bones (potentially causing osteoporosis), drying skin, and the drying and thinning of the urethral and vaginal tissues which can lead to incontinence and pain. There are a number of other physical and mental impacts and outcomes.

It is quite heritable, and can affect someone in a variety of ways, depending on many aspects of life, including past or present health issues, stress, past or present trauma, minoritised identity, neurodivergence, relationships, economic insecurity, and more. At one end of the scale of experiences, periods may simply stop with no warning or side effects, and at the other, the person can be thrown into life-changing crisis.

Perimenopause

Perimenopause is when oestrogen in the body starts to fluctuate. This often happens in your 40s, but it can start in your late 30s. We just aren’t taught about it. Menstruation may start to become irregular if it was regular before. However, menopause may remain regular while other side effects occur.

Many people are surprised by negative changes in their mental health, or exacerbations of existing mental and physical health conditions. Also changes/differences in sexual desire.

Queer

This word has different resonances for different people. Here, I use it in a very broad way. For me, the queer umbrella covers rejection of the binary, and/or same-sex relationships, and/or disrupted gender norms.

LGBTQIA+

This acronym comes in many forms, and changes fairly often. Elsewhere I have used ‘LGBTQ+’ for the sake of brevity. However, it feels important to add Intersex and Asexual here. It comes under the wider GSRD - Gender, Sex and Relationship Diversity (where a person may be cisgender and/or heterosexual, but be polyamorous, kinky, or a sex worker).

This site is not intended to be specifically a queer identity primer. Further reading: Queer - a graphic history, Queer Sex, How to understand your gender, Gender Outlaw, Non-Binary Lives, Rewriting the Rules.

INCLUSIVE

The conversation around the right word for the representation of all people is an ongoing one. Every single word can be pulled apart and be found wanting, largely because it comes to represent the more powerful group naming minority and minoritised people as ‘diverse’. When speaking of ‘inclusion’, we always have to ask ‘Who is doing the including?’

I don’t have a perfect word here, so I am using ‘inclusive’ until a better one comes along. I am always open to further thoughts on this, and will update my terminology as I go.

A NOTE ON CHANGING AND OUTDATED USAGES

In some of the older links on this site, you may possibly see words like trans*, transgenderism, or acronyms such as FTM (Female to Male) and MTF (Male to Female). Some people don’t use them any more (or never have), considering them outdated, objectifying or simply inaccurate - or only to be used by choice by someone who holds that particular identity.

The language around LGBTQIA+ identities evolves rapidly as people seek increasingly specific and accurate ways to describe themselves. Expressions which were once the norm may also be rejected due to their usage by those who may have misrepresented or misused power over queer, non-binary, and trans people.

However, books and academic literature, with their concreteness once published, are unable to adapt to changing language as fast as blogs and social media can. Also, if you are seeking resources, (particularly around queer approaches to menopause when there are so few in existence), some of these terms may still have search value online.