So you want your resources to be LGBTQ+ inclusive?

Photo by David Pisnoy on Unsplash / This (cropped) image feels very apt in terms of rainbow-washing, including the confused-looking arrangement of the colours.

Making your website, CLINIC OR CHARITY LGBTQIA+ inclusive IS EASY, RIGHT?

Not quite. If this was a straightforward process, everyone would be doing it. Or, actually, all resources would be this way from the ground up - with no need for this conversation.

It may be helpful to read this post first: ‘Your work looks so interesting! Can we have a chat?’ because it goes into detail about examining our motivations when making a bid for someone’s attention.

Please note: If you’re in a hurry and just need some leads, scroll down for a list of people and organisations who may be able to help you out, or direct you to someone who can.

First, A notE on ‘inclusivity’

‘The conversation around the right word for the representation of all people is an ongoing one. Every single word can be pulled apart and be found wanting, largely because it comes to represent the more powerful group naming minority and minoritised people as ‘diverse’. When speaking of ‘inclusion’, we always have to ask ‘Who is doing the including?’

This is from the terminology page on this site. There is sure to be a better word out there somewhere.

I’VE HAD a fair number of requests to help people make their resources LGBTQIA+ inclusive.

I have said no to all of them. (Menopause-related or not.)

If one of them was from you and you are wondering why - especially when I keep banging on about inclusivity! - I think it’s fair if I say more about this, and direct you to some people who might be able to help.

First, I don’t offer this service and never have. As I’ve said elsewhere, I’m a busy psychotherapist/counsellor whose prime focus is my client work and I owe my clients my absolute presence and care. My queer menopause work has been done mainly outside working hours - please see this post from March 2023 for an update on the project. If anyone reading this is doing work around queer/trans approaches to menopause, I would love to hear about what you’re doing.

If you’re seeking someone to help you improve your resources, there are a number of issues that need thinking about:

(1) If your SITE/project/ETC were FULLY inclusive, you wouldn’t need to be asking someone to fix the language IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Yeah, sorry.

(2) If your project isn’t LGBTQIA+ inclusive from the ground up, fixing the language won’t change ANYTHING.

Putting ‘people’ and ‘they’ may be a good start, but just saying ‘all genders’ or anything similar could cause your website to mislead LGBTQIA+ people into approaching you - when in fact you or your staff may not be in a position to offer this. At worst you could cause harm.

We can all get tripped up by our own good intentions. Changing our language is a vital starting place when educating ourselves, but when you are offering a service it is just a start.

(3) You need to look at your entire operation and figure out how to reORGANISE it with LGBTQIA+ clients in mind.

Whether it’s an organisation/business with many people involved or whether it’s just you, sorry again if you thought you didn’t have to do this.

In fact, if there is more than one of you, you need to find out if everyone is on board with (and trained in) working with LGBTQIA+ patients or clients. You included. And if not, why not?

(PLEASE NOTE: The same goes for working with any other minority/minoritised populations that you don’t already serve.)

(4) yes, it’s going to cost you.

You have to pay people to do this because it is WORK. Even if you feel confident enough around this subject and just want someone to read your web copy/dissertation/etc for language - YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THEM.

I have lost count of the number of times I have suggested someone contact an organisation who may be able to offer consultancy on, say, trans-inclusive language, and the person has replied: ‘Oh I can’t afford consultancy!’

So you were expecting me to do this for you for free?

I know not everyone has a commercial budget. Fees can be discussed, and barter is also a thing - but PLEASE DO NOT OFFER TO PAY IN EXPOSURE.

(5) DRIVE-BY REQUESTS - TAKE CARE

Drive-bys get their own section here. This is more about method of contact but it bears a mention.

This is when someone on the public timeline, be it Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn or anywhere else, suddenly swoops into a thread and asks me to, say, check their website for them.

These queries may also imply that there is benefit for me in this, because I will be helping them to do good in the world.

Doing this publicly puts me in the position of either (a) potentially looking rude by ignoring them (and therefore implying that I am a terrible human who does not wish to do good in the world! Ewww!) or (b) entering into an unsolicited communication by asking them to PM me, which they really should have done in the first place, or (c) taking time to form a ‘no’ response that is suitably polite, which can take more energy than you realise.

If you’re feeling attacked here - I’ve done this myself! My enthusiasm has got the better of me at times and I jumped in without asking myself the question ‘Who is this for?’ (Once again, this post unpacks this in a lot more detail.)

But hey, you never know, you might get lucky. Not everyone dislikes drive-bys as much as I do. But remember, you may be addressing your public request to someone neurodivergent, disabled, unwell (or, you know, struggling with menopause), who has less time or energy than you do and who may even be right on the edge. Online you just don’t know.

So where might you find someone to help you?

In general, Instagram and LinkedIn are full of people who may be offering this kind of service, or who could signpost you to someone who does.

I wanted this post to have positive suggestions. The organisations I’ve linked to below have either been recommended to me or I found them online. Some trainers/consultants may (or only) work with groups, so you could club together with some others who are seeking the same thing.

I will add more as I find them.

Trainers and training organisations

Organisations

Gendered Intelligence - Trans-led organisation offering a wide range of services. (UK)

GIRES - Organisation that support trans people and offers information and resources. (UK)

Heal All Consulting - Queer-focused naturopathic clinic offering inclusivity trainings. (Canada)

LGBT Foundation - LGBTQ+ health and wellbeing charity that also offers training. (UK)

The Queer Box - Gender, sexuality and relationship diversity training and consultancy. (UK)

Salt & Sage Books - Sensitivity readers with a wide range of focus. (US) [David Pena recommended]

Writing Diversely - Sensitivity readers with a wide range of focus. (US)

Individuals

Kris Black - GSRD (Gender, Sex & Relationship Diversity) therapist and trainer. (UK)

Tess Brooks - GSRD therapist and trainer. (UK)

TaMeicka "Ifasina" Clear - Master trainer, leadership consultant and wellness artist. (US)

Heather Corinna – Consultant, speaker, educator, editor and advocate, and author of ‘What Fresh Hell is This?’, still the only inclusive menopause book in the world as far as I can see. (US)

Sarah-Kye Faulkner - NeuroQueer Consultancy - virtual and face-to-face training and consultancy. (UK)

Sam Hope - GSRD therapist, trainer and consultant. (UK)

Karen Pollock - GSRD therapist, trainer and consultant. (UK)

Tate Smith - Trans activist, consultant and speaker, who has also posted about trans men’s experience of menopause. (UK)

Sage Stephanou - Educator, community worker, facilitator. (UK)

If you yourself offer this kind of work, please get in touch and I will add you to this list.